"The single most important step in this inner healing work is detachment. It is developing a detached level of consciousness - and observer / witness perspective - that allows us to start practicing discernment in relationship to both our inner and outer process. This facilitates the process of learning how to have internal boundaries so that we can start having the wisdom and clarity to integrate a Loving Spiritual belief system and intellectual knowledge of healthy behavior into our emotional relationship with life. Then we are able to start achieving some emotional balance, and start owning our power to be a positive, conscious co-creator of our life experience - a Loving, mature, empowered force in our own lives, instead of an unconscious co-creator out of the negative, self abusive, self sabotaging reactions that are caused by our emotional wounds and the codependent behavior patterns adapted in childhood."
"The critical parent voice is rooted in the subconscious intellectual paradigm that is defining and dictating our life experience. It is the play by play commentator that is providing running commentary on how well we are playing the game of life - and it is judging our performance based upon false beliefs about the nature and purpose of life, based upon a black and white perspective that dooms us to be the victim of being imperfect humans. It dictates how we react to life and then judges us for those reactions.
It is very important to start learning how to take power away from that critical parent voice so that we can start developing a witness perspective with a compassionate level of consciousness. So that we can start learning how to be our own best friend - instead of our own worst enemy."
"Detachment allows us to start taking some Loving control of our own internal process. It allows us to start taking control over, and responsibility for, our thoughts and our feelings to the extent that is possible. It allows us to create a space in our lives to start learning how to be Loving to ourselves instead of feeling like a victim of self and life.
Detachment - learning to observe our selves so that we can become more conscious - is an act of Love."
This page includes quotes from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls and quotes from other articles, columns, or web pages written by Robert Burney.
by Robert Burney
A "state of Grace" is the condition of being Loved unconditionally by our Creator without having to earn that Love. We are Loved unconditionally by the Great Spirit. What we need to do is to learn to accept that state of Grace.
The way we do that is to change the attitudes and beliefs within us that tell us that we are not Lovable. And we cannot do that without going through the black hole. The black hole that we need to surrender to traveling through is the black hole of our grief. The journey within - through our feelings - is the journey to knowing that we are Loved, that we are Lovable.
It is through willingness and acceptance, through surrender, trust, and faith, that we can begin to own the state of Grace which is our True condition.
We are all beautiful swans who exist in a state of Grace, in a condition of being unconditionally Loved. The dance of Recovery is a process of learning to accept and integrate the Truth of Grace into our lives.
The goal in this Age of Healing and Joy is integration and balance. To integrate the Spiritual Truth into our physical experience so that we can fill the hole inside and find wholeness within. As we integrate our True Spiritual nature into our relationship with our physical being we can begin to achieve some balance and harmony with and between all of the parts of our being.
This age is a time for growing and learning, a time to become conscious of the True nature of the Source Energy, a time of Spiritual Awakening. We have been given the wonder-full gift of having the ability and the tools to start integrating the Truth of a Loving Universal Force into our day-to-day experience of life. We now have the knowledge and guidance that we need to start bringing some balance to our relationships - with ourselves and our God/Goddess, with other people and the planet - so that we can live in a way that allows us to experience some Peace and Love on our life path.
We can heal our wounded souls enough to change the dance of life from a dance of endurance and suffering to a dance that celebrates living. We now have access to the power to transform the dance of Codependence to a dance of healing and Joy.
Quote from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls
Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in the Light is what I have been calling my next book. This is to be a process level book - a "how to" book - explaining the approach to inner child healing that I discovered in my desperation to change my life. I have been guided to develop and refine this approach in my work with others to facilitate my recovery and healing. It is a formula, a blueprint, for integrating Spiritual Truth into our inner process so that we can achieve some emotional balance in this human dance we are doing.
The material in that book will be based upon the writing that I have done for articles on my web site. I haven't withheld anything on the web site in terms of trying to explain how the process works - it is just that in that book I might be explaining things in slightly different ways, and adding some things that I use in my counseling work that for one reason or another I have just never written about. I did start to publish a draft version of that book in my Joy2MeU Journal several years ago - but that process became stalled as I was writing articles for my web site that lead me to deeper and fuller understanding of different aspects of the process, and of the energetic dynamics that govern the process. I have been trying to get the time to focus on that book for quite awhile now - and in fact wrote the following to my Joy2MeU Journal subscribers in July of this year.
"So, I will get back to this Journal when I get back to it. I don't think that it will be too long after I get back, because these issues that are stirred up need to be worked through. And I really want and need to get back to my process level book. It was over a year ago when I wrote this about it.
My concept of this book is changing pretty dramatically - and will probably include a name change. As I said back in the beginning of this Journal, this book is a first draft and as such it is definitely a work in progress. The reality of the book - as I stated back then - is that probably 80% of the material that will go into this book is already on the web site. .. . . I haven't been able to get a clear vision of how this book will come together since I haven't had any free time to focus on it.
Joy2MeU Journal Mini-Newsletter - May 8, 2000
My vision of this book is getting clearer all the time. And it is happening because of my phone counseling. That has proven such an effective way of helping people to implement my approach to inner child healing and Spiritual integration, that it is showing me the way that the book needs to be organized."
Co-Creation: Owning your Power to Manifest Love is one of the alternative titles I have been considering. I was in fact, planning on focusing on that process level book in September. Then the events of September 11th occurred and I started publishing what turned into an online book Attack on America: A Spiritual Healing Perspective. This page is in fact being written as part of that online book. I am now starting to see that I will be combining the material from that process book with the online book - but am not sure when I will have time to get to that, as I first need to finish the online book. Hopefully in January, I will find some time to start exploring that material.
In the meantime, I wanted to publish this page as a regular web article - as opposed to a chapter of my online book - because this material is so important to the process. I wanted it to be readily available to anyone who is interested. - RB 12-23-01